P.S. 掐指一算, 还能再看到这双眼三次.
<啪嗒>
清透的茶色湖水 环绕着
灰白的月光 轻抚着
走向看不见的尽头 催眠着
她的眼 是午夜的沙滩
静静的 一个 一个浪头
重复中 明白了世间一切的道理
伸手不见五指 摸索着
门后的光 诱惑着
听得到天堂的召唤 虔诚着
她的眼 是贴满玻璃色彩的教堂
没有审判 没有对错
穹顶倾泻的白光下 无拘无束的忏悔
黑得静默 却水晶般清澈透亮
白得无瑕 却容纳了所有的情感
她的眼 是一个世界
甚至可以包容得下我的世界
她的眼 总在期盼
任凝视再久也不会收回
只是…

“Thank you Sooo much”
When has it become trendy to say this, genuinely and sincerely, when someone’e being helped on some trivial matter?
“Can you pass me some napkins””Yup””Thank you so much”
“What time is it””12:15””Thank you so much”
“Hey can you keep an eye on my stuff for a sec””Sure””Thank you so much”
It’s everyday, everywhere and in nearly every conversation. The richness of the whole phrase make me nausea. It reminds me of the voice in the “next big thing” ads by samsung: “our phone allows us to do amaaaazing things” “the next big thing is here”. Those seemingly friendly and pure tones cannot hide the fact that they’ve been carefully calibrated and crafted, one syllabus a time, to magically convey their messages to the innocent audience. I almost think they’ve consulted a dozen psychologists so that the tones, the messages and the visual can fully grab the weakness of human nature. So are those banners and posters with one or two all-captalized catchphrases. All those Steve Jobs’ type of presentation and visualization are unnaturally unhealthy and deceiving. Nothing can be summarized in one phrase. Everything is complicated. A bold, catching slogan sells good, but it doesn’t actually make the product better, especially when everybody is doing it.
What about a simple and snappy “Thanks” or a formal and less emotionally engaged “Thank you” for such subtlety? I guess you’d never say those two words. What if I saved your life from an angry hippo at the zoo? How are you going to thank me for that? What are you going to say so that I feel I deserve this? I guess you’d run out of your repertoire of expressing gratitude. sometimes it’s not even something grateful. It’s more of a pet phrase, something slipped out of the mouth subconciously to make people feel you care about them, to end a conversation, or just to be cute. Well, perhaps no reason for such behavior.
If over-modesty is a sickness of Asians, over-politeness is becoming a pandemic among modern citizens in America. And both make me nausea, for a long time. Adding a “so much” tag at the end of a sentence doesn’t bond people closer. The over-polite conversation balls tossed back and forth are sarcastically sad, because beneath the web knitted by them, in stark contrast, is the absurd nature of desolated individuality and the lack of understanding and trust. They are just there, all the time, cold, isolated and hard. Anything we try to build in the layer above it not only does not help, but even worse, makes the facts down below opaque and inaccessible.
Say “Thanks” when it should be said. Then feel the warmth and coldness of human connection when it’s presented, truly and transparently.

今天看到一段让自己脸红的话。是周国平援引昆德拉对小说职责的一段评论：
“一个小说家必须具备存在的眼光，看到比现实更多的东西。然而许多小说家都没有此种眼光，他们或者囿于局部的现实，或者习惯于对现实作某种本质主义的抽象”。。。
“这种情况，借用海德格尔的概念，就是“存在的被遗忘””。如此写出来的小说，不过是小说化的情欲，忏悔，自传，披露隐私罢了。“
这段话应该批评了世界上百分之九十九点九的小说家，包括所有经典文学，所有故事童话，以及所谓的<哲学小说>———-那不过是在用小说的形式上哲学课罢了。
But ya’ know what, I don’t care. 我就是那种倾全部注意力于当下瞬间细节的描绘者—-语言的摄影师，说的高尚点。我就是把一切情欲，忏悔，道德和无奈小说化的那种人——主要是情欲。我就是那种描绘记忆中的现实，不揭示任何存在的花间派。为此我乐此不疲。
另一位评论家Rebecca Solnit最近在一篇virginia woolf 的文章里写道：”writers have to be by nature optimists…it’s the job of writers and explorers to see more, to travel light when it comes to preconception, to go into the dark with their eyes open.”
Which I totally disagree. 我写任何我想写的东西。笔者不应对读者对社会负有任何责任感和导向型。我们的职责只有写任何我们感兴趣，我们觉得值得探讨的话题。文字本身没有开导读者，给读者以信心的责任。而我写作，仅仅是体验一种不一样的可能性罢了，而且凑巧大部分时候是及其消极晦暗的。我不认为这就是没有价值的。相反，文字应该是把世界原原本本的摊平了展现在人们面前的介质。
历史上的今天：
2011年7月8日 写一首给朋友的分手歌